Bizarre and Funny Side of Gardening!
World's Largest Garden Centre
The biggest garden center in the entire world is not in America - it's Bridgemere Garden
World in Cheshire. It covers 25 acres, attracts 1.8 million visitors each year
and sells over three million plants each year.
I Can See That Plant Growing
The fastest growing plant is bamboo. One particular species grows about one
meter every day. At that speed, the increase in height can be seen after two
Your Largest Nightmare
The largest weed in the world is the giant hogweed. Left on it's own, it can grow to
over three and half metres (11 foot) high.
A four year old was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust his mother asked,
Well - what does it taste like?
'Worms', was the toddler's reply.
Wheat is the most commonly cultivated plant in the entire world. It has
been grown for over 7,000 years in all places except Antartica.
Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration!
Japanese tradition has it, that during the massive earthquake there in 1923, many trees
sacrificed their own lives to save those living in nearby houses. Maybe true,
maybe not, but the large cherry tree in the back garden of 10 Downing Street
certainly took the full force of the mortar bomb which exploded in 1991. This
protected the Cabinet Room and those in it.
A Seriously Funny Joke!
A prisoner in
jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best
time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I
hid all the gold."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the
house, and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter:
"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"
Tongue - did you know?
The Latin name for mother-in-law's tongue, 'sansevieria' comes from the Italian Prince of
Sansevieria, who was a horticulturalist in the 18th century. Although they
resemble cacti, they are in fact part of the lily family. There are over 50
species, some being so tough and fibrous that in parts of Indonesia and Africa
they actually make rope from them.
Pride is what you feel when your children make £53 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realise your best plants are missing.
Brother Is Keeping A Watch In Kineton
Big Bother is keeping a watchful eye on the residents of Kineton in Warwickshire!
Click here for the hedge that proves it.
Plants Improve Air Quality
A large tree can remove 20 pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere annually, equaling 11,000
miles of car emissions. Landscape plants, including shrubs and turf, remove
smoke, dust, and other pollutants from the air. One study showed that 1 acre of
trees has the ability to remove 13 tons of particles and gases annually.
Worms Are Working For You
A 200 sq ft garden with a low worm population of only 5 worms/cubic foot will be
provided with over 35 lbs (about 1/3 lb per worm) of top-grade fertilizer by the
worms, each garden year.
Adam and Eve
Why did God create women?
God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
The tallest tree in the world is a redwood in California - it is 112m (367ft)
tall. The oldest living tree in the world is another redwood in California which
is 12,000 years old. The oldest tree in Britain is a mere youngster at 4,000
years old (the Fortingall Yew in Perthshire).
There's Cold and There's 'Brass Monkey' Cold
The very hardiest of our trees and shrubs can actually tolerate much colder
temperatures than ever occur naturally on earth. For example, branches of a
saskatoon berry can be collected on a cold January day and immersed directly
into liquid nitrogen (a clear water-like liquid which always maintains the
unthinkably cold temperature of -196°C). Branches immersed in liquid nitrogen
will cool at a rate of nearly 100°C per second, reaching -196°C almost
instantly. Yet, they survive. Wintertime cells of these extremely hardy plants
may be so dry that there is essentially no water available inside them from
which ice can form (like a bag of flour). Since it is the formation of ice, and
not the low temperature which kills the plant, even liquid nitrogen is not too
cold for our hardiest plants.
No Need For Needle Drop
There is really
no secret to keeping a Christmas tree from drying out other than to make sure
that it is as fresh as possible when you buy it (the very best thing is to go
cut it yourself just before you intend to put it up in the house) and then to
make a fresh cut on the trunk just, and I mean just, before you put it in a
water-filled stand. The cells on the freshly cut surface of the tree will heal
over very quickly which makes them unable to take up water. If you're quick
enough, they'll not really heal over and will be able to start taking up the
life-sustaining moisture from the pan of water you have under or as part of the
stand that you've put the tree in. Some people insist on putting sugar or
aspirins or goodness only knows what in the water, but none of that matters a
hill of beans. A good, fresh tree that has been properly handled before it's put
up in the home, can absorb up to a litre of water a day. Don't ever let the
water reservoir dry out or you'll be faced with that same problem of the cells
on the cut surface of the tree callusing over.
This Plant Has Indigestion
The leaves of sundews are covered with prominent red-stalked hairs, which exude a sticky red droplet
at the end. When an insect tries to feed on this droplet, it gets stuck, and its
struggles cause more and more of the tentacles to bend towards it. The insect is
finally smothered, and then digested by the leaf.
- Zulu-giant Stapeli
Germans believe that no flowers should be placed in the mouth of a corpse,
because the dead man would chew on them and then become a 'Nachzehrer' who
draws his relatives into the grave after him.
- This infamous poison
from South America has two different sources. One is a liana vine, Chondodendron
tomentosum, related to moonseed, a deadly wild plant found in the US
which can be mistaken for wild grapes. The other vine is Strychnos
guianensis. Other ingredients enhance the quality of the poison.
Curare paralyzes the victim, starting with the limbs, until eventually the
diaphragm is paralyzed and the victim cannot breathe. The mind remains
alert throughout the whole process.
rhubarb to be a tasty, tangy vegetable. But only the stalks of the leaves
are safe to eat. The leaves themselves, which are large, may be tempting
as a source of greens, but they contain high amounts of oxalic acid,
which, unlike the calcium oxalate in dumbcane, enters the bloodstream.
There it clots the blood, crystallizes in the kidneys, and eventually
leads to death. During World War 1, the English government, in an effort to
conserve food, mistakenly encouraged people to eat the leaf blades of
rhubarb and many people died as a result.
Dogs and Walnut Trees
"A dog, a wife, and a walnut tree: the more you beat them, the better they
Copyright 2000-10 David Marks. All rights reserved.