The Bizarre and Funny Side of Gardening!
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World's Largest Garden Centre
The biggest garden center in the entire world is not in America - it's Bridgemere Garden World in Cheshire. It covers 25 acres, attracts 1.8 million visitors each year and sells over three million plants each year.

I Can See That Plant Growing
The fastest growing plant is bamboo. One particular species grows about one meter every day. At that speed, the increase in height can be seen after two minutes.

Your Largest Nightmare
The largest weed in the world is the giant hogweed. Left on it's own, it can grow to over three and half metres (11 foot) high.
 

Silly Joke
A four year old was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust his mother asked,
Well - what does it taste like?
'Worms', was the toddler's reply.

Wheat Everywhere
Wheat is the most commonly cultivated plant in the entire world. It has been grown for over 7,000 years in all places except Antartica.

Proverb
Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration!

Trees Save Lives
Japanese tradition has it, that during the massive earthquake there in 1923, many trees sacrificed their own lives to save those living in nearby houses. Maybe true, maybe not, but the large cherry tree in the back garden of 10 Downing Street certainly took the full force of the mortar bomb which exploded in 1991. This protected the Cabinet Room and those in it. 

A Seriously Funny Joke!
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife:

"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:

"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:

"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter:

"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"

Mother-in-Law's Tongue - did you know?
The Latin name for mother-in-law's tongue, 'sansevieria' comes from the Italian Prince of Sansevieria, who was a horticulturalist in the 18th century. Although they resemble cacti, they are in fact part of the lily family. There are over 50 species, some being so tough and fibrous that in parts of Indonesia and Africa they actually make rope from them.

Children
Pride is what you feel when your children make £53 from a garage sale. 
Panic is what you feel when you realise your best plants are missing. 

Adam and Eve
Why did God create women?
God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

Tree-mendous Facts
The tallest tree in the world is a redwood in California - it is 112m (367ft) tall. The oldest living tree in the world is another redwood in California which is 12,000 years old. The oldest tree in Britain is a mere youngster at 4,000 years old (the Fortingall Yew in Perthshire).

There's Cold and There's 'Brass Monkey' Cold
The very hardiest of our trees and shrubs can actually tolerate much colder temperatures than ever occur naturally on earth. For example, branches of a saskatoon berry can be collected on a cold January day and immersed directly into liquid nitrogen (a clear water-like liquid which always maintains the unthinkably cold temperature of -196°C). Branches immersed in liquid nitrogen will cool at a rate of nearly 100°C per second, reaching -196°C almost instantly. Yet, they survive. Wintertime cells of these extremely hardy plants may be so dry that there is essentially no water available inside them from which ice can form (like a bag of flour). Since it is the formation of ice, and not the low temperature which kills the plant, even liquid nitrogen is not too cold for our hardiest plants.

No Need For Needle Drop
There is really no secret to keeping a Christmas tree from drying out other than to make sure that it is as fresh as possible when you buy it (the very best thing is to go cut it yourself just before you intend to put it up in the house) and then to make a fresh cut on the trunk just, and I mean just, before you put it in a water-filled stand. The cells on the freshly cut surface of the tree will heal over very quickly which makes them unable to take up water. If you're quick enough, they'll not really heal over and will be able to start taking up the life-sustaining moisture from the pan of water you have under or as part of the stand that you've put the tree in. Some people insist on putting sugar or aspirins or goodness only knows what in the water, but none of that matters a hill of beans. A good, fresh tree that has been properly handled before it's put up in the home, can absorb up to a litre of water a day. Don't ever let the water reservoir dry out or you'll be faced with that same problem of the cells on the cut surface of the tree callusing over.

This Plant Has Indigestion
The leaves of sundews are covered with prominent red-stalked hairs, which exude a sticky red droplet at the end. When an insect tries to feed on this droplet, it gets stuck, and its struggles cause more and more of the tentacles to bend towards it. The insect is finally smothered, and then digested by the leaf.

Zulu-giant Stapeli
Germans believe that no flowers should be placed in the mouth of a corpse, because the dead man would chew on them and then become a 'Nachzehrer' who draws his relatives into the grave after him.

Curare

This infamous poison from South America has two different sources. One is a liana vine, Chondodendron tomentosum, related to moonseed, a deadly wild plant found in the US which can be mistaken for wild grapes. The other vine is Strychnos guianensis. Other ingredients enhance the quality of the poison. Curare paralyzes the victim, starting with the limbs, until eventually the diaphragm is paralyzed and the victim cannot breathe. The mind remains alert throughout the whole process.

Rhubarb
Many consider rhubarb to be a tasty, tangy vegetable. But only the stalks of the leaves are safe to eat. The leaves themselves, which are large, may be tempting as a source of greens, but they contain high amounts of oxalic acid, which, unlike the calcium oxalate in dumbcane, enters the bloodstream. There it clots the blood, crystallizes in the kidneys, and eventually leads to death. During World War 1, the English government, in an effort to conserve food, mistakenly encouraged people to eat the leaf blades of rhubarb and many people died as a result.

 

Wives, Dogs and Walnut Trees
Russian proverb: "A dog, a wife, and a walnut tree: the more you beat them, the better they be."

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